@@@@@ She tried to get the better of it; tried
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She tried to get the better of it; tried very hard, as the dinner hour
approached, to feel and appear as usual; but it was quite impossible
for her not to look most shy and uncomfortable when their visitor
entered the roomShe could not have supposed it in the power of
any concurrence of circumstances to give her so many painful sensations
on the first day of hearing of William’s promotionCrawford was not only in the room—he was soon close to
herHe had a note to deliver from his sisterFanny could not look at
him, but there was no consciousness of past folly in his voiceShe
opened her note immediately, glad to have anything to do, and happy,
as she read it, to feel that the fidgetings of her aunt Norris, who was
also to dine there, screened her a little from view
“My dear Fanny,—for so I may now always call you, to the infinite
relief of a tongue that has been stumbling at Miss Price for at least the
last six weeks—I cannot let my brother go without sending you a few
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lines of general congratulation, and giving my most joyful consent
and approvalGo on, my dear Fanny, and without fear; there can be
no difficulties worth namingI chuse to suppose that the assurance of
my consent will be something; so you may smile upon him with your
sweetest smiles this afternoon, and send him back to me even happier
than he goesYours affectionately, M
These were not expressions to do Fanny any good; for though she
read in too much haste and confusion to form the clearest judgment
of Miss Crawford’s meaning, it was evident that she meant to
compliment her on her brother’s attachment, and even to appear to
believe it seriousShe did not know what to do, or what to think
There was wretchedness in the idea of its being serious; there was
perplexity and agitation every wayShe was distressed whenever Mr
Crawford spoke to her, and he spoke to her much too often; and she
was afraid there was a something in his voice and manner in addressing
her very different from what they were when he talked to
the othersHer comfort in that day’s dinner was quite destroyed:
she could hardly eat anything; and when Sir Thomas goodhumouredly
observed that joy had taken away her appetite, she was
ready to sink with shame, from the dread of MrCrawford’s interpretation;
for though nothing could have tempted her to turn her
eyes to the right hand, where he sat, she felt that his were immediately
directed towards her
She was more silent than everShe would hardly join even when
William was the subject, for his commission came all from the right
hand too, and there was pain in the connexion
She thought Lady Bertram sat longer than ever, and began to be
in despair of ever getting away; but at last they were in the drawingroom,
and she was able to think as she would, while her aunts finished
the subject of William’s appointment in their own styleNorris seemed as much delighted with the saving it would
be to Sir Thomas as with any part of it“Now William would be
able to keep himself, which would make a vast difference to his
uncle, for it was unknown how much he had cost his uncle; and,
indeed, it would make some difference in her presents tooShe was
very glad that she had given William what she did at parting, very
glad, indeed, that it had been in her power, without material incon266
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venience, just at that time to give him something rather considerable;
that is, forher, with her limited means, for now it would all be
useful in helping to fit up his cabinShe knew he must be at some
expense, that he would have many things to buy, though to be sure
his father and mother would be able to put him in the way of getting
everything very cheap; but she was very glad she had contributed
her mite towards it
“I am glad you gave him something considerable,” said Lady
Bertram, with most unsuspicious calmness, “for I gave him only